SoThatWasBillHahns’s Weblog

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Is That the Best You Can Do? A Fairy Tale Gone Bad

Once upon a time, in a land, well, here,  there lived a young lad and lassie who were madly in love and traveled the globe.  They slept as they pleased, ate as they pleased, drank as they pleased — which pleased they muchly! — and pretty much did as they pleased.

Then, one day, a fine young baby girl was born — little Princess Pukka.  Shortly thereafter, Prince Pukka arrived. They were a happy family, enjoyed time together, and (mostly) enjoyed their travels together. But the Queen and King could no longer do as *they* pleased,  as the Pukkas had needs. And when those needs weren’t met (be it food, drink, sleep, stimulation, etc.), life could be… well, cruel. Travels were enjoyable, especially seeing things through the eyes of babes, but just not quite the same as they used to be.

Time passed and the couple grew weary — they needed time to recharge without their little batteries tagging along. Fortunately, a fair maiden (aka the King’s big sister) rode in on a white horse and agreed to watch the Pukkas. And so, a plan was made!

The King and Queen choose the Four Seasons Las Vegas, a majestic and luxurious oasis in the Jungle of Sin, to house them during their festivating. Having visited the Seasons of Four before, the royal couple was giddy in anticipation of having a staff of people to attend to *their* every needs, wants and desires! Ahhhh… remember when……

As the couple approached the Castle of Four Seasons, the place sparkled. Immediately, a fine footsman greeted the chariot and provided assistance with the couple’s wears. Yes, the King and Queen smiled, we have returned to paradise!

Alas, little did they know that an evil witch — Lady RestingOnYourLaurels — had put a horrific spell on the castle, turning the servants into incompetent statesmen and women and wearing down the magic and sparkle that had once been The Four Seasons Las Vegas!

Indeed, the greeting wench did not properly greet the King and Queen or offer them a sip from the well (aka a bottle of water), as is customary. (Although, another lord checking in received such pleasantries.) Although the beds looked pretty, they could easily keep the princess and the pea awake all night — but since the indentation in the bed was so pronounced, there would be little she could do about it!

Alas, there was more! The barkeep at the watering hole (aka pool) passed their general area several times but, despite the King’s brave efforts to flag her down, the King and Queen remained unserved. The massive entertainment box (aka HD TV flat screen) was impressive in stature, but the graininess of the picture was insulting. The tavern-keeping staff (aka housekeeping) seemed polite, but left a message long after the King and Queen had left for an evening of festivities, asking the couple to call if they indeed wanted service. (How should such a message be returned if the couple had already left the room, praytell?)

At every turn, the King and Queen became more and more sad, as the Four Seasons’ attentiveness and vigilance for details had faded like a flowers’ petals in autumn. In fact, better care and service had befallen the King and Queen at alternative establishments just down the path on Las Vegas Boulevard.

As the King and Queen re-packed their trunks to trek through the desert and return to their beloved Pukkas, they sighed. Really, Four Seasons? Is that the best you can do??


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